Kevin’s Meandering Thoughts | Enjoying With Water and Language: A Write Out Poem


A immediate within the newest Write Out publication was all about nature and the way concepts can leap from language to language. By probability, I noticed a every day poem from Poets.org entitled “The River” by Manuel Jose Othon and after I learn it, I noticed the poem had been translated into English from its authentic Spanish.

One line jumped out at me — as usually occurs — and so I made a decision to make use of that line to encourage my very own poem.

The road from “The River” by Manuel Jose Othon:

Uplift your liquid songs, ye eddies brilliant

My poem, as a response, of kinds, or maybe, one other present:

I style your phrases on my tongue,
younger one – although historic, too,
because the hours earlier than the storm
that launched you, and the pull from
the Earth’s middle, irresistible –
your infinite journey from riverbank
to raindrop by no means stops, does it?
You’re without end in movement, dancing
to tides of ocean

I requested Claude AI to translate my poem into Spanish:

Saboreo tus palabras en mi lengua,
joven – aunque también antiguo,
como las horas antes de la tormenta
que te liberó, y la atracción desde
el centro de la Tierra, irresistible –
tu viaje interminable desde la orilla del río
hasta la gota de lluvia nunca cesa, ¿verdad?
Estás por siempre en movimiento, danzando
al ritmo de las mareas del océano

I queried Claude about its selections made when turning my poem into one other language:

Actually, I’d be completely happy to clarify the interpretation selections I made. Let’s undergo the poem line by line:

  1. “I style your phrases on my tongue” “Saboreo tus palabras en mi lengua”
    • I selected “saboreo” (I savor) as a substitute of a literal “pruebo” (I style) because it higher conveys the concept of experiencing or relishing phrases.
  2. “younger one – although historic, too,” “joven – aunque también antiguo,”
    • This line is a reasonably literal translation, sustaining the juxtaposition of youth and antiquity.
  3. “because the hours earlier than the storm” “como las horas antes de la tormenta”
    • It is a direct translation that preserves the unique imagery.
  4. “that launched you, and the pull from” “que te liberó, y la atracción desde”
    • “Launched” is translated as “liberó”. For “pull”, I used “atracción” (attraction) which on this context conveys the concept of a gravitational or magnetic pull.
  5. “the Earth’s middle, irresistible -” “el centro de la Tierra, irresistible -”
    • It is a simple translation. “Earth” is capitalized in Spanish (Tierra) when referring to the planet.
  6. “your infinite journey from riverbank” “tu viaje interminable desde la orilla del río”
    • “Riverbank” is translated as “orilla del río” which accurately means “river’s edge”.
  7. “to raindrop by no means stops, does it?” “hasta la gota de lluvia nunca cesa, ¿verdad?”
    • I translated “by no means stops” as “nunca cesa” which is barely extra formal than “nunca para”. The rhetorical query is maintained with “¿verdad?” (isn’t it true?).
  8. “You’re without end in movement, dancing” “Estás por siempre en movimiento, danzando”
    • “Eternally” is translated as “por siempre” which is extra poetic than the additionally right “para siempre”.
  9. “to tides of ocean” “al ritmo de las mareas del océano”
    • I added “al ritmo de” (to the rhythm of) to raised join the concept of dancing with the ocean tides, making the metaphor extra specific in Spanish.

All through the interpretation, I attempted to take care of the circulate and imagery of the unique poem whereas adapting it to sound pure in Spanish. The theme of water’s cyclical journey is preserved, as are the poetic units like enjambment and the general free verse construction.

And, effectively, simply because, I took Claude’s translation of my poem and requested ChatGPT to translate again into English:

I savor your phrases on my tongue,
younger – although additionally historic,
just like the hours earlier than the storm
that freed you, and the pull from
the middle of the Earth, irresistible –
your infinite journey from the riverbank
to the raindrop by no means ceases, does it?
You’re without end in movement, dancing
to the rhythm of the ocean tides

So, fairly near the place my poem began.

Peace (and poems),
Kevin

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